JC SiLent:You cant be that far away from me ; if we're looking on the same side of the moon
Saturday, April 22, 2006
this is an extract of Ms A.L.'s reply to my boss. i wish to comment on certain "biz issues".
We are both good examples of an obsolete good. For the benefit of all, obsolete means outdated, out of fashion, out of trend etc...
[under Google search. Obsolete means No longer in use / useful + Outmoded in design, style, or construction. maybe my appearance is a big problem.
guess is a matter of time i'll be placed in the museum.]
I have zero net book value and still depreciating in value day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second. Not that i am unable to keep up with the times but the technology advances way too fast for me to even catch up with (pple getting attached at a supersonic rocket speed). In such circumstances, i am being left behind cos nobody wants me, perhaps high chance of being left on the "shelf" one day, rot and rust there...
[I am worse lor. i am alrdy -ve NRV. the seller whom is me have to compensate the buyer if he is interested to "buy" me. still depreciating daily. so must earn more to be financially independent. dun wan to be a society burden.]
I do not mean to offend you, Your Highness cos you are seen as an antique increasing in value day by day, equipped with rich knowledge and skills and not ancient....
[boss, ur value is appreciating like the Sing dollar recently. many rich men collects antique so who noe wat may happen.
do continue to strength ur value to keep the agency going. the co cannot make it w/o you. you are a VIP - Very Impt Person.]
So Your Highness, are you sure you can find one for me cos im such an obsolete good? Tough case here.. Hard nut to crack.. and furthermore i got super complex buying behaviour (high differences between brands & high involvement). Don't try to overcharge your fees leh.
[same here. i am known to be "picky" and till today i dun understd why they think so. maybe i am picky but was not aware of it bah. if so i guess it will be easier to find me gal frends to keep me co and stuff.
"i choose guys and guys choose gals. not much choices left actually. who can "tahan" a person / gal like me??
very thxfully tt i have some very gd gf. i am lucky and fortunate in a way.
but i am not as bad as Ms A.L. lah.. wat complex buying behaviour...?? i am not so complex lah. but definitely low involvement and high differentiation due to my image when stressed]
im just a beggar on the streets, waiting for my pathetic Progress Package payout on 1 May . how about buy one session get two sessions free? if im successful, then i shall be your free marketing cum public relations officer to help you out in all the publicity campaigns, event managements, source for sponsorships and execute marketing plans, who knows you can get some exclusive deals at your favourite Expressions Salon or even go for treatments FOC. Then you shall shake leg at office and be your towkay neo, go for afternoon high teas, shopping at Paragon, followed by facial, spas, massage, body wrap, manicure and pedicure, then do your hair at David Gan's and you are ready to go for your candlelight dinner in a yacht with your lover! muahahaha!!!
[i need more discount lah boss. ur 1% discount can only cover the CESS lor. i will help to think of more promotion strategies and come up wif a biz proposal when i am free and if this story continues.
sound like the "tai tai" lifestyle. can i take off at times to join you for high tea?? i need breaks too if nt i will break down wan lor.]
Silent shall take care of the accounts and PA cum domestic (maid) duties.
[i am part-qualified "accountant" only lor. there will be high inherent risk leh. the audit cost will increade due to me. tt is not very economical. maybe get a qualified accountant in lah.
want to do mktg related duties like promotion, PR.. i have lot of crazy, creative, attention grabing.. ideas. must fully "utilise" me mah. do want the biz to succeed then i can get higher "director and mgt fee" to support myself as an obsolete goods]
& 10:33 am
Thursday, April 20, 2006
An extract of a letter fr my boss SM.
she included her match-making agency, "A Heavy Affair" price list.
TO: MY DEAR PA cum Maid in SIM:
dear PA cum Maid in SIM,
aft reading ur request, i hv decided to accept u as my 1st customer. n bcos u r my PA cum Maid for free, there is no such thing as netting of ur salary n the matchmaking fees i charged.
[if i am ur 1st cust [stock], i will recommend the agency to use LIFO [Last In 1st Out] method for stock. although it is an illegal method but i can best reflect the agency's stock position. the a/c users will then be able to make more economical decision as in w/r to invest in this agnecy.
like MOMO, i am a victim of technology advancement. according to Mktg SG [nt Spore but study guide]. increased technology development accerlerates the speed of obsolescence. i am one of "obsolete" stock.]
Below are a few svcs i offered:
1.getting to know the other party's name: $18
2.getting to know wat class he goes to: $28
3.touching his hand in the process of helping me: $48
4.getting to know his hp no: $58
5.getting to know more abt him
(eg. single/attached, straight/crooked, wat kinda gal he like, his fav food, his medical history, his lao peh, his ah bu etc etc etc): charges are dependent on wat info u want.
eg. i dun think my skin is 'thick' enuff to ask him wat color underwear he's wearing today if tat's wat u want to know! LoL! *** special circumstances: but u noe wat, $$$$$$$ can make the world go round. eg. i can pretend to fall n 'accidentally' pull his pants down! LoL! juz jking ok!!!
*PLS note that prices are not inclusive of GST.
Currently i cld only think of these svcs. Will b updatin soon if i tot of any other feasible ones.
[thinking of organisation "exchange program". those who are weak in certain subjects can form group wif those who are strong in these subject. intereaction among the group members may create chemistry and positive impression of the ppl being smart and nice.
my exchange program will be MICROECON and ACCOUNTING BASED SUBJECTS. anyone interested??
Oh ya, was in the loo when i tot of a name for my co. i tot 'juz help me(JBH)' abit boring leh. my inspiration come when i tot of the cheesy dating show, 'A Light Affair'. I tot mine co cld b named, ' A heavy affair' considering the fact that participants need to lift me up in the process. So pls start training ur arms muscles b4 u cum n c me! LoL!
[dun train the arm muscles if nt no excuses to get external help leh.
I have appealed to be promoted to be the biz partner of "a Heavy Affair". hopefully it will be authorised asap lah.
anoth matter's tt e discount is too little lah. can't even cover the GST cost lor. can i have more discount ah since i'm ur 1st cust??? sth like "early bird disc"?? i will to promote this svs and spread the words ard. ]
Anyway, my dear gal, pls practice some discretion in ur choosing process. dun choose sum1 with 'matchstick' arms ok! otherwise if he broke his arms in the process, u shall be soley responsible for his sinseh fees!
[dun judge the man by his appearance. scully he is fit and strong though he is small bulit. you never noe, boss. i will "try" to get those "familiar faces" whom i wan to noe to help. but i guess is better than SM do the asking. i guess i have sacred many ppl by the non-stop crazy irritating stupid laughter and noisy i made. recently my condition has worsen lor. scully those "familiar faces" dun wan to noe me cos i am too noisy and stuff.
SEE, HEAR and THINK NO DEVIL for now]
on 2nd thought, maybe its not so bad if its happen coz u cld accompany him there n get to know him better! LoL! Plus you cld ask him directly urself n save alot of fees! LoL!
[like this idea. but will it be kind of weird wif jus 2 person?? scully the guy will dislike / curse me for causing this unnucessary injury?? he may reject the offer of a gal accompanying/tagging along wif him to the doctor.]
[yest e few of us were trying very hard to track him down. guess mr ahem saw us hanging ard. guess he is frightened by my reply still. but he has to be "responsible for his words" mah so there is MI 2.
i am very proud to announce tt i have jus completed my MI 2 [nt minority interest ah. is mission impossible 2]. i finally get sth correctly. cfm my ears are functioning on tt day. this will be a "little gift" to _______. but i din achieve the desired outcome _______ will want. so i guess there won't MI 3??
i am currently undergoing the "2nd stage of puberty" according to YK - mum based on my behaviour. but i realise there is nth i can do ah. SMILE CANNOT DO WONDERS for my cases. if i do smile at any familiar faces, they will think
1. i am crazy
2. i am smiling to oth
3. i am flirting wif them.
but i am nt ah. dun wan to be misunderstood by oth.
so this will most likely to be the "end" of the "entertaining enriching crazy" sch life]
& 10:23 am