JC SiLent:You cant be that far away from me ; if we're looking on the same side of the moon
Thursday, April 20, 2006
An extract of a letter fr my boss SM.
she included her match-making agency, "A Heavy Affair" price list.
TO: MY DEAR PA cum Maid in SIM:
dear PA cum Maid in SIM,
aft reading ur request, i hv decided to accept u as my 1st customer. n bcos u r my PA cum Maid for free, there is no such thing as netting of ur salary n the matchmaking fees i charged.
[if i am ur 1st cust [stock], i will recommend the agency to use LIFO [Last In 1st Out] method for stock. although it is an illegal method but i can best reflect the agency's stock position. the a/c users will then be able to make more economical decision as in w/r to invest in this agnecy.
like MOMO, i am a victim of technology advancement. according to Mktg SG [nt Spore but study guide]. increased technology development accerlerates the speed of obsolescence. i am one of "obsolete" stock.]
Below are a few svcs i offered:
1.getting to know the other party's name: $18
2.getting to know wat class he goes to: $28
3.touching his hand in the process of helping me: $48
4.getting to know his hp no: $58
5.getting to know more abt him
(eg. single/attached, straight/crooked, wat kinda gal he like, his fav food, his medical history, his lao peh, his ah bu etc etc etc): charges are dependent on wat info u want.
eg. i dun think my skin is 'thick' enuff to ask him wat color underwear he's wearing today if tat's wat u want to know! LoL! *** special circumstances: but u noe wat, $$$$$$$ can make the world go round. eg. i can pretend to fall n 'accidentally' pull his pants down! LoL! juz jking ok!!!
*PLS note that prices are not inclusive of GST.
Currently i cld only think of these svcs. Will b updatin soon if i tot of any other feasible ones.
[thinking of organisation "exchange program". those who are weak in certain subjects can form group wif those who are strong in these subject. intereaction among the group members may create chemistry and positive impression of the ppl being smart and nice.
my exchange program will be MICROECON and ACCOUNTING BASED SUBJECTS. anyone interested??
Oh ya, was in the loo when i tot of a name for my co. i tot 'juz help me(JBH)' abit boring leh. my inspiration come when i tot of the cheesy dating show, 'A Light Affair'. I tot mine co cld b named, ' A heavy affair' considering the fact that participants need to lift me up in the process. So pls start training ur arms muscles b4 u cum n c me! LoL!
[dun train the arm muscles if nt no excuses to get external help leh.
I have appealed to be promoted to be the biz partner of "a Heavy Affair". hopefully it will be authorised asap lah.
anoth matter's tt e discount is too little lah. can't even cover the GST cost lor. can i have more discount ah since i'm ur 1st cust??? sth like "early bird disc"?? i will to promote this svs and spread the words ard. ]
Anyway, my dear gal, pls practice some discretion in ur choosing process. dun choose sum1 with 'matchstick' arms ok! otherwise if he broke his arms in the process, u shall be soley responsible for his sinseh fees!
[dun judge the man by his appearance. scully he is fit and strong though he is small bulit. you never noe, boss. i will "try" to get those "familiar faces" whom i wan to noe to help. but i guess is better than SM do the asking. i guess i have sacred many ppl by the non-stop crazy irritating stupid laughter and noisy i made. recently my condition has worsen lor. scully those "familiar faces" dun wan to noe me cos i am too noisy and stuff.
SEE, HEAR and THINK NO DEVIL for now]
on 2nd thought, maybe its not so bad if its happen coz u cld accompany him there n get to know him better! LoL! Plus you cld ask him directly urself n save alot of fees! LoL!
[like this idea. but will it be kind of weird wif jus 2 person?? scully the guy will dislike / curse me for causing this unnucessary injury?? he may reject the offer of a gal accompanying/tagging along wif him to the doctor.]
[yest e few of us were trying very hard to track him down. guess mr ahem saw us hanging ard. guess he is frightened by my reply still. but he has to be "responsible for his words" mah so there is MI 2.
i am very proud to announce tt i have jus completed my MI 2 [nt minority interest ah. is mission impossible 2]. i finally get sth correctly. cfm my ears are functioning on tt day. this will be a "little gift" to _______. but i din achieve the desired outcome _______ will want. so i guess there won't MI 3??
i am currently undergoing the "2nd stage of puberty" according to YK - mum based on my behaviour. but i realise there is nth i can do ah. SMILE CANNOT DO WONDERS for my cases. if i do smile at any familiar faces, they will think
1. i am crazy
2. i am smiling to oth
3. i am flirting wif them.
but i am nt ah. dun wan to be misunderstood by oth.
so this will most likely to be the "end" of the "entertaining enriching crazy" sch life]
& 10:23 am